Sunday, September 26, 2010

First weeks in a city are always busy...

So it's been a minute since I posted anything. I was so gung-ho and excited to begin with and then was busy and dropped off the planet. Nothing much insightful in this post, just catching up.

We closed Minneapolis a week ago and I was able to spend 48 glorious hours at home. Hubby was true to his word and we watched the Top Chef finale together and just enjoyed being together. It's those things that we can't do over the phone that mean a lot when we are together. Lying on the couch, exploring new places and people watching, and going to restaurants... makes me a happy woman.

He made me breakfast too. Blueberry pancakes with sliced strawberries and bananas, which were incredible. He is such a great chef. I do love to cook and am very competent in the kitchen, but he's the master. I'll be his sous-chef any day.

Enjoying Madison, WI right now. Some of us are renting a house on a huge lake, complete with our own little dock!  It's relaxing to be right on the water and finally, with a day off tomorrow, I can really spend some time enjoying it. Of course, I wish my other half was here to enjoy it too...

Oh, and I've got the 'nesting' itch really bad (not the 'I -want-to-have kids' way but the 'I-want-our-own-place-to-decorate' way)...

Saturday, September 18, 2010

New Reading Material

So after a bad weekend (one where I just want to say "to hell with it all" and go home to Hubby), I started trying to find a good book that could maybe shed some insight to our living situation. There are books about being newlyweds and learning to co-habitate and all that which sounds nice but doesn't help us right now, but then I found a book called "The Commuter Marriage" by Tina B. Tessina.

I overnighted it from Amazon.

It's good, not always relevant, but fairly insightful so far. It mostly comes from the viewpoint of having been married for some time before separating (and also has parts about parenting which I skip over), but overall it's been a good read. I have discovered that Hubby and I have even more to be thankful for that we realize. The book starts by talking about the different types of long-distance relationships, and ours is lucky in that our time apart is scheduled and set. We can plan our times together and build a routine. I go home in between cities (which is two days) and his work usually lets him off so we are together the whole time. The book does mention that the more the person travels and the longer the trips are, the more the stress can be... hmm.

Also, this is completely voluntary. I don't have to do this. We both agreed that this is an amazing, incredible job for me. And I can't think of any job I'd rather have. I love this show, I love dancing this show, I love teaching this show. My professional life is a dream job that others would absolutely kill to have. It just pulls my life away from my Hubby. Big Debbie-downer. But there are many couples out there who have no choice but to be apart. We are in control of this.

One thing that has been troubling me about life on the road is how my life here is completely separate from his. I have been feeling guilty that my day to day life is foreign to him. I have my tour life and routines and people I see and interact with, and he's not a part of that. We try as hard as we can to catch each other up on our daily activities but in reality it's completely separate from him. For instance, we've had a handful of new people at work whom he hasn't met. These people are in my life, all day every day, and they have only heard about him and vice versa. It's weird for two large components of my life not to overlap.

I was reading today that it's healthy to create separate lives. While we are apart it's good to live our lives and have new friends and such. I understand that, but now my fear has been that I have this routine that I've had for a year now which doesn't involve my partner... how much harder is it now going to be to include each other in our daily mundane decisions once we live together? Even grocery shopping... I know what I like to buy is not what he's going to want (I LOVE Vanilla Silk and he can't stand soymilk... but now I'm used to getting it). So are we not only making or lives harder now but making it harder in the future too?

Please feel free to leave comments or insight or helpful hints for navigating this time of our life!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Special Surprise at Work

During rehearsal at work today a co-worker told me that I had a delivery at the security guard's desk...

My incredibly thoughtful husband sent me a gorgeous arrangement of gerber daisies in honor of the one year anniversary of my Wicked debut! (I joined the company last August in Austin but made my first stage appearance on September 17th in Nashville) I didn't even remember that it was today! But he had not only thought about it but had remembered in advance so that he could do something special. They are really beautiful and are now the envy of the dressing room!

I have to say, it really made me feel loved and special. It shows me how much Adam cares about me and goes out of his way to make me a priority in his life. I'm a very lucky lady ;-) and he definitely won some major brownie points in my book!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

"No texting" progress

So it's day two of no texting and just talking, and I must say it's harder not to text than I thought. I guess I was so accustomed to just texting whenever I have downtime that's it is a habit now. A habit I'm definitely going to conquer because it's so nice to call my hubby and not already know exactly what he's doing. I feel as if we are actively listening more in our conversations because I haven't texted him "what r u up to?" thirty minutes prior to calling. I don't already know that he's playing Halo Reach or getting ready for bed. It's nice.

Shameless Hubby Bragging: 
Our favorite reality tv show is Top Chef. I bought the season pass on itunes so the current episode downloads the day after it airs. I'm obsessed.  Tonight was the season finale and my hubby, in his infinite wisdom and kind spirit, suggested he hold off from watching it live, as he was planning on doing, so that we can watch it together when I'm home in between cities on Monday! We have skyped while both watching an episode but it's not the same as spooning on the couch together. Our love of Top Chef goes way back to when we started dating so it's strange to have been watching this season separately. Now we have a wonderful experience to share and to look forward to, and it's the anticipation of those little things in life that help pass the time until we are together again. And the sappy award goes to... me.

Connected in the wrong way

My smart hubby pointed out yesterday that we spend so much time texting and BBM-ing that once we actually talk on the phone, everything has already been said (or typed). I'm a person who wants to hear his voice on the other end of the phone as much as possible. I'll call him during breaks at work and he'll do the same. But we end up sitting on the phone with nothing to say. Are texts making us too connected in the wrong way?

So we're attempting to cut back. There were many chances last night at work that I could have texted him something that was going on or that I was thinking, but I held back. We had so much to chat about last night once we skyped! I got to tell him all about work and everything that was going on, and he hadn't already heard the play-by-play via BBM. I was able to show him some boots that a co-worker was giving away and that I'm going to MAKE fit because I adore them so much (who cares if they are an 8 and I'm a 6 1/2... that's what thick socks and inserts are for). 

And speaking of skype, that's something we don't do enough of. I'm not really sure why but it's probably due to the face that the Internet in most hotels is sub par. Yes, we were disconnected three times last night but were always able to connect again. I'm making the commitment to skype as much as possible. We both are not fans of talking on the phone (which makes long-distance pretty difficult) but I can get on board with skype when I can see his handsome face (feel free to gag...).

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Joining the Blog World

So this is all new for me.
Yesterday was my six month anniversary of our wedding, and I realized we have spent collectively maybe four weeks together since the wedding. Strange but true. I am on a national tour at the moment and my hubby resides just outside New York City. I have a dream job, and I count my blessing constantly. But as far as starting our life together goes, we have a huge road block. Every book for newlyweds that I open starts with "cohabitation"... wah wah. I'm living in a hotel and he's saving money by living with roommates while our beautiful wedding gifts sit packed away in our storage closet. (You'd better believe that I won't have random roommates using our nice Kate Spade china before I do) There is no "how-to" guide for what we are doing. And I have to believe that there are other people out there like us. Newlyweds just trying to get by and start their life together the best they know how to. So I'm putting our story out there, not to get any sympathy or to complain, but to share our experiences in hopes that other newlyweds facing similar situation can find comfort that they are not alone.