I started a new book on my kindle (which I love but that's another topic) yesterday called "Creating an Intimate Marriage" by Jim Burns. He was a guest speaker at Saddleback, which is a church in Orange County that has an online campus. Makes it easy to tune in on tour, which I've started doing since Easter. Anyways, he was easy to listen to and mentioned he has a book on intimacy in marriage, one thing that is pretty darn hard to hold on to when in different time zones.
The book first mentioned one of the biggest challenges of marriages is being under-connected and over-committed. HELLO! He just described being on tour. It's so easy to slip into our separate routines, his in NJ and mine in wherever the heck I am, and lose our connection. Occasionally, I am so used to our 'audio relationship' of talking on the phone that it takes a minute to adjust when we are actually in the same place. I shouldn't have to adjust to being with my husband, but it happens. It doesn't mean we don't love each other more than anything in the world, it just means we're human. Jim Burns wrote, "Marriage is a humbling journey." And it is.
I have to keep my priorities in check. I can't put my job before my husband, even though at times I feel that's what I'm doing by being out here. That's not the case, but I need to make more of an effort to let my husband know he is more important than any job, as amazing a job as it is and as thankful I am for it. He's my soul mate.
Under-connected and Over-committed is the perfect phrase for the tour marriage. It's the personal connection that suffers. We can talk all we want on the phone, but it's never the same as looking someone in the eyes.
ReplyDeleteI love you soul mate.